Me too!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
