I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
