My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I love having hate sex.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
