is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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