How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she woke up with a sticky ear
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
