we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
