dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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