i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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