she was so not down for the gang bang
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
