I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
