what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
