i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize