I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize