i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she smelled like a LAN party
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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