i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
