when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
