apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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