dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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