Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
