i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
