Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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