What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have aggressive nipples.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
