Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
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I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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