Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
