I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
