i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
