Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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