Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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