Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
