you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
