yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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