why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
