Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
