Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
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Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
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We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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