I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
