How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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