I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
