And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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