no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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