Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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