I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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