So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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