I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
