I'm drive I can fine osifer
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
