So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
time to smoke my breakfast
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
