Are we in a gay sports bar?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
