She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize