Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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