My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
