apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
