I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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