im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
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Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
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The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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