He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
