SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
nutella sex= disaster
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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