i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
