Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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