i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
