If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
